Bender's quotes

"Let's face it, comedy's a dead art form. Tragedy, now that's funny."

"It is every robot's duty to give his life for the good of humanity... Aw, crap!"

Bender: I was God once.

God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died. Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.

God: Yes, if he makes it look like an electrical thing. If you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Bender: So do you know I'm going to do something before I do it?

God: Yes.

Bender: What if I do something else?

God: Then I don't know that.

Bender: Game's over, losers! I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.